Living With Difficult Natal Energies

A member asked the following (paraphrased): "When you discover the reason behind issues in your life, you can’t undo the damage. How do you live with this?"

This brings us to a key subject in the interpretation of natal charts. They are an excellent guide to figuring out why you have certain issues. An eating disorder, addiction, problems managing your anger, lack of motivation, or fear of ______. 

Etc. 

But then what? The astrologer tells you "This is why you have this in your life. This aspect or house position means so and so." That's great, but what exactly do you do with this information? You can now trace the pattern from your childhood into your adult life, but that does not undo what you suffered, and most of the time there's no "cure" for what you have to live with now. 

Well, this is where we look at the fact that all astrological energies have positive and negative manifestations. It's all energy, and there's always a positive way to focus or redirect it. This does not mean your pain will be erased or your problem will vanish. But a good astrologer can isolate key areas of your chart that indicate specific problems. And that astrologer can then offer alternatives to how you might use that energy. In essence, the way you live with this is taking control of how the energy in your chart is directed. 

Let's say you have a Moon/Saturn square. The Moon is your needs and Saturn is limits and authority. A square is a crisis. There are probably mother issues (Moon equals Mother). As a child, your needs (Moon) were not met and your mother may have been distant, strict or judgemental. And maybe you needed to take on the role of adult, so you built a wall around your feelings because no one was going to attend to them anyway. 

Now, as an adult, you have difficulties opening up. Allowing yourself to truly feel and let others in is a frightening prospect, so you may come across as emotionally chilly but also very in control and "together." The problem is, you feel isolated in relationships and the few times you do open up you act like a five year old (needy, moody) because your feelings did not fully develop when you were a child (they were locked away). So you now have the crisis between being vulnerable versus being in control. 

You can't go back in time and change your relationship with mom. And you'll never be a warm, fuzzy person who casually displays her feelings. So this is where you need to look at the positives of this aspect. Saturn means commitment, so you have the ability to commit. You don't allow just anyone to get close to you, and this can be a plus - is there anyone more reliable then you? 

But the key here is learning to take responsibility (Saturn) for your needs- the needs that were never met as a child. That does not mean denying your needs by keeping them locked away. It does mean acknowledging what you really need and not being afraid to work on this. Once you are able to become your own mother, you can have healthy, committed relationships with others - you can open up to the select few you trust and gift them with your loyalty while receiving the care and support you deserve. 

Applying this to any difficult aspect or house position, you look at the negative or challenging qualities and see how you can work with them. This applies most if the outer planet makes a hard aspect to a personal planet. 

With Saturn, it's always about overcoming a fear and taking responsibility. Benefits: your discipline and commitment. With Uranus, consider why your first reaction may be to distance yourself and if you're drawn to chaos. Benefits: you're unique, innovative, independent and can be truly non-judgemental. With Neptune, you may need to confront what you've been avoiding and ground yourself. Benefits: creativity, compassion, magic. With Pluto, pay attention to buried motivations, secrets and manipulation. In some way, you are probably a manipulative person- no one likes to admit this about themselves but it's often true when Pluto makes a hard aspect to a personal planet. Then use the tremendous power at your disposal in a constructive way. 

With 12th House planets, you need to look at what's hidden, denied or undefined. Maybe secrets from childhood? A parent who was missing or ill? 12th House planets can be very frustrating to deal with because their energy can undermine you if you're not fully conscious of them. Once you have the issue nailed down, consider how you can use this energy in a beneficial way. 12th House planets give you tremendous empathy and a knack for connecting with others if you find a creative, spiritual or selfless focus for your energies. If something was sacrificed or dissolved in your past, is there a way you can provide this to others? It sounds counterintuitive, but the 12th is all about meeting your needs (Moon) or making yourself happy (Venus) or finding your purpose (Sun) by helping or reaching others. It's not a social house, so you may do this by being in the background or working indirectly, but the boundarylessness of the 12th ultimately allows you to touch many, many people with your art, or compassion, or _____ (whatever talent or desire you have).